The Magnificent Ferengi

The Magnificent Ferengi is the 10th episode of the sixth season of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The title is a spoof of the film The Magnificent Seven.

Plot

Quark's celebration of obtaining Syrup of Squill is cut short when he learns that his mother, Ishka, has been captured by the Dominion. He informs Rom and also tells him of her secret love affair with Grand Nagus Zek, who is offering a 50 bar reward to Quark. He decides to lead a commando team composed of Ferengi and claim the reward is 20 bars so he can keep a larger share. They first recruit Nog, making him "Strategic Operations Officer" for the mission. Next, they hire Leck, a Ferengi "eliminator" who does not care for latinum but loves a challenge. Quark bails out his cousin Gaila, who was arrested for vagrancy and signs him up as a chance for redemption. At a briefing, the team learns they do not have a ship and are interrupted when Brunt arrives, asking to join. Having lost his job as a Liquidator, he hopes helping rescue Ishka will make Zek give him his job back. When the team refuses, Brunt passingly mentions he will simply return to his ship, forcing the team to accept him.

Running simulations on the holosuite go poorly. The team is unable to kill any Jem'Hadar soldier and on the eighth attempt, Leck shoots Ishka (seeing as how they were not going to rescue her). When Quark reminisces about the negotiations he went through to obtain Syrup of Squill, Rom encourages his brother by saying that Ferengi may not be good commandos, but they are excellent negotiators. They just need to find someone the Dominion wants and the Dominion will give them the person the Ferengi want; that way, everyone goes home alive. As thanks for helping Major Kira retake the station, Quark is given the captured Vorta Keevan and the group arranges a meeting with the Dominion at Empok Nor (as its layout is identical to DS9). The team makes base camp in the station's infirmary, where Keevan reveals he will probably be executed once he is returned. He attempts to escape in Brunt's ship, but fortunately Rom disabled the ship after they arrived (Quark chased him because sometimes Rom gets it wrong). A Dominion ship arrives and the Ferengi find themselves surrounded by Jem'Hadar. The Dominion commander Yelgrun (Iggy Pop) presents Ishka to Quark, Rom, and Nog, but, seeing the obvious strategic advantage that the Dominion Soldiers have, they force Yelgrun to order his troops (save for his two bodyguards) to leave the station and immediate region of space. While celebrating their soon-to-be successful exchange, Rom accidentally lets slip the fact that the reward is actually 50 bars, not 20. In a rage, Gaila tries to shoot Quark but ends up killing Keevan, whose last words are "I hate Ferengi".

As Yelgrun grows impatient, Nog determines (after five minutes) that Keevan is dead. The team agrees to not give up . . . for an equal share of 50 bars. Placing a neural stimulator on Keevan's head causes him to swing his arm and Quark gets an idea. He changes the exchange point to the airlock where the ship is while Nog modifies the stimulators. At the exchange, they are able to get Keevan's dead body to walk and once Ishka is safely with Quark, the team ambushes Yelgrun's Jem'Hadar guards. Brunt asks what they will do with him and Quark says that Yelgrun will be their gift to Starfleet ("they gave us a Vorta, we'll give them one"). The Ferengi and Vorta leave Empok Nor while Keevan's body continues walking into a support beam.

External links

• The Magnificent Ferengi at the Internet Movie Database
• "The Magnificent Ferengi" at TV.com
• The Magnificent Ferengi at Memory Alpha (a Star Trek wiki)
• The Magnificent Ferengi at StarTrek.com